The Second Fredric Brown Megapack
The Second Fredric Brown Megapack
Version 1.0
COPYRIGHT INFO
The Second Fredric Brown Megapack is copyright © 2014 by the Estate of Fredric Brown. All rights reserved. Cover art © 2014 by Innovari / Folotia.
* * * *
“The Waveries” originally appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, January 1945. Copyright © 1945 by Fredric Brown.
“Obedience” originally appeared in Super Science Stories, September 1950. Copyright © 1950 by Fredric Brown.
“All Good Bems” originally appeared in Thrilling Wonder Stories, April 1949. Copyright © 1949 by Fredric Brown.
“First Time Machine” originally appeared in Honeymoon in Hell (1958). Copyright © 1958 by Fredric Brown.
“Blood” originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, February 1955. Copyright © 1955 by Fredric Brown.
“The Last Martian” originally appeared in Galaxy Science Fiction, October 1950. Copyright © 1950 by Fredric Brown.
“Man Of Distinction” originally appeared in Thrilling Wonder Stories, February 1951. Copyright © 1951 by Fredric Brown.
“Vengeance Fleet” originally appeared in Super Science Stories, July 1950. Copyright © 1950 by Fredric Brown.
“The Weapon” originally appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, April 1951. Copyright © 1951 by Fredric Brown.
“Mouse” originally appeared in Thrilling Wonder Stories, June 1949. Copyright © 1949 by Fredric Brown.
“The Dome” originally appeared in Thrilling Wonder Stories, August 1951. Copyright © 1951 by Fredric Brown.
“Great Lost Discoveries I: Invisibility” originally appeared in Nightmares and Geezenstacks (1961). Copyright © 1961 by Fredric Brown.
“Great Lost Discoveries II: Invulnerability” originally appeared in Nightmares and Geezenstacks (1961). Copyright © 1961 by Fredric Brown.
“Great Lost Discoveries III: Immortality” originally appeared in Nightmares and Geezenstacks (1961). Copyright © 1961 by Fredric Brown.
“Millennium” originally appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, March 1955. Copyright © 1955 by Fredric Brown.
“Second Chance” originally appeared in Nightmares and Geezenstacks (1961). Copyright © 1961 by Fredric Brown.
“Contact” originally appeared in Galaxy Science Fiction, June 1960. Copyright © 1960 by Fredric Brown.
“A Word From Our Sponsor” originally appeared in Other Worlds Science Stories, September 1951. Copyright © 1951 by Fredric Brown.
“Something Green” originally appeared in Space on My Hands (1951). Copyright © 1951 by Fredric Brown.
“Crisis, 1999” originally appeared in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, August 1949. Copyright © 1949 by Fredric Brown.
“And The Gods Laughed” originally appeared in Planet Stories, February 1944. Copyright © 1944 by Fredric Brown.
“Mitkey Rides Again” originally appeared in Planet Stories, November 1950. Copyright © 1950 by Fredric Brown.
“Placet Is a Crazy Place” originally appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, May 1946. Copyright © 1946 by Fredric Brown.
“Honeymoon In Hell” originally appeared in Galaxy Science Fiction. Copyright © 1950 by Fredric Brown.
“Daisies” originally appeared in Angels and Starships (1954). Copyright © 1954 by Fredric Brown.
“Daymare” originally appeared in Thrilling Wonder Stories, November 1943. Copyright © 1943 by Fredric Brown.
“Cartoonist” originally appeared in Planet Stories, May 1951. Copyright © 1951 by Fredric Brown and Mack Reynolds.
A NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER
Fredric Brown (1906-1972) is perhaps best remembered for his use of humor and his mastery of the “short-short” form (these days called flash fiction)—stories of one to three pages, often with ingenious plotting devices and surprise endings. He was just as accomplished in the mystery field as in science fiction, and he won an Edgar Award from the Mystery Writers of America for his first novel, The Fabulous Clipjoint.
I discovered Fredric Brown’s work in the mid 1970s through the wonderful Science Fiction Hall of Fame anthology series. The concept of the series was that each volume contained some of the greatest science fiction stories published before 1965, as voted on by the membership of the Science Fiction Writers of America (and then winnowed down by each volume’s editor). The theory being, of course, that science fiction writers ought to know the best of the best.
SFWA members selected Fredric Brown’s story “Arena,” which is in the first of our Fredric Brown Megapacks (this is the second, and I hope there will be a third!), as one of the top 20 science fiction stories. (“Arena” was also adapted as an episode of the original Star Trek TV series—you will probably recognize it as soon as you start reading.)
Whether you discovered Fredric Brown’s work through the Megapack series, already know how great he is, or are experiencing him for the first time—here are 27 more great tales.
Enjoy!
—John Betancourt
Publisher, Wildside Press LLC
www.wildsidepress.com
ABOUT THE MEGAPACK SERIES
Over the last few years, our “Megapack” series of ebook anthologies has grown to be among our most popular endeavors. (Maybe it helps that we sometimes offer them as premiums to our mailing list!) One question we keep getting asked is, “Who’s the editor?”
The Megapacks (except where specifically credited) are a group effort. Everyone at Wildside works on them. This includes John Betancourt (me), Carla Coupe, Steve Coupe, Bonner Menking, Colin Azariah-Kribbs, A.E. Warren, and many of Wildside’s authors…who often suggest stories to include (and not just their own!)
A NOTE FOR KINDLE READERS
The Kindle versions of our Megapacks employ active tables of contents for easy navigation…please look for one before writing reviews on Amazon that complain about the lack! (They are sometimes at the ends of ebooks, depending on your reader.)
RECOMMEND A FAVORITE STORY?
Do you know a great classic science fiction story, or have a favorite author whom you believe is perfect for the Megapack series? We’d love your suggestions! You can post them on our message board at http://movies.ning.com/forum (there is an area for Wildside Press comments).
Note: we only consider stories that have already been professionally published. This is not a market for new works.
TYPOS
Unfortunately, as hard as we try, a few typos do slip through. We update our ebooks periodically, so make sure you have the current version (or download a fresh copy if it’s been sitting in your ebook reader for months.) It may have already been updated.
If you spot a new typo, please let us know. We’ll fix it for everyone. You can email the publisher at wildsidepress@yahoo.com or use the message boards above.
THE MEGAPACK SERIES
MYSTERY
The Achmed Abdullah Megapack
The Charlie Chan Megapack*
The Craig Kennedy Scientific Detective Megapack
The Detective Megapack
The Father Brown Megapack
The Girl Detective Megapack
The Jacques Futrelle Megapack
The Anna Katharine Green Mystery Megapack
The First Mystery Megapack
The Penny Parker Megapack
The Philo Vance Megapack*
The Pulp Fiction Megapack
The Raffles Megapack
The Sherlock Holmes Megapack
The Victorian Mystery Megapack
The Wilkie Collins Megapack
GENERAL INTEREST
The Adventure Megapack
The Baseball Megapack
The Cat Story Megapack
The Second Cat Story Megapack
The Third Cat Story Megapack
The Third Cat Story Megapack
The Christmas Megapack
The Second Christmas Megapack
The Classic American Short Stories Megapack, Vol. 1.
The Classic Humor Megapack
The Dog Story Megapack
The Doll Story Megapack
The Horse Story Megapack
The Military Megapack
The Sea-Story Megapack
SCIENCE FICTION & FANTASY
The Edward Bellamy Megapack
The First Reginald Bretnor Megapack
The Fredric Brown Megapack
The Ray Cummings Megapack
The Philip K. Dick Megapack
The Dragon Megapack
The Randall Garrett Megapack
The Second Randall Garrett Megapack
The Edmond Hamilton Megapack
The C.J. Henderson Megapack
The Murray Leinster Megapack
The Second Murray Leinster Megapack
The Martian Megapack
The E. Nesbit Megapack
The Andre Norton Megapack
The H. Beam Piper Megapack
The Pulp Fiction Megapack
The Mack Reynolds Megapack
The Darrell Schweitzer Megapack
The Science-Fantasy Megapack
The First Science Fiction Megapack
The Second Science Fiction Megapack
The Third Science Fiction Megapack
The Fourth Science Fiction Megapack
The Fifth Science Fiction Megapack
The Sixth Science Fiction Megapack
The Seventh Science Fiction Megapack
The Ei
ghth Science Fiction Megapack
The Robert Sheckley Megapack
The Steampunk Megapack
The Time Travel Megapack
The Wizard of Oz Megapack
HORROR
The Achmed Abdullah Megapack
The Second Achmed Abdullah Megapack
The E.F. Benson Megapack
The Second E.F. Benson Megapack
The Algernon Blackwood Megapack
The Second Algernon Blackwood Megapack
The Cthulhu Mythos Megapack
The Erckmann-Chatrian Megapack
The Ghost Story Megapack
The Second Ghost Story Megapack
The Third Ghost Story Megapack
The Haunts & Horrors Megapack
The Horror Megapack
The Lon Williams Weird Western Megapack
The M.R. James Megapack
The Macabre Megapack
The Second Macabre Megapack
The Arthur Machen Megapack**
The Mummy Megapack
The Occult Detective Megapack
The Darrell Schweitzer Megapack
The Vampire Megapack
The Weird Fiction Megapack
The Werewolf Megapack
WESTERNS
The B.M. Bower Megapack
The Max Brand Megapack
The Buffalo Bill Megapack
The Cowboy Megapack
The Zane Grey Megapack
The Lon Williams Weird Western Megapack
The Western Megapack
The Second Western Megapack
YOUNG ADULT
The Boys’ Adventure Megapack
The Dan Carter, Cub Scout Megapack
The Dare Boys Megapack
The Doll Story Megapack
The G.A. Henty Megapack
The Girl Detectives Megapack
The E. Nesbit Megapack
The Penny Parker Megapack
The Pinocchio Megapack
The Rover Boys Megapack
The Tom Corbett, Space Cadet Megapack
The Tom Swift Megapack
The Wizard of Oz Megapack
AUTHOR MEGAPACKS
The Achmed Abdullah Megapack
The H. Bedford-Jones Pulp Fiction Megapack
The Edward Bellamy Megapack
The B.M. Bower Megapack
The E.F. Benson Megapack
The Second E.F. Benson Megapack
The Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson Megapack
The Algernon Blackwood Megapack
The Second Algernon Blackwood Megapack
The Max Brand Megapack
The First Reginald Bretnor Megapack
The Fredric Brown Megapack
The Wilkie Collins Megapack
The Ray Cummings Megapack
The Guy de Maupassant Megapack
The Philip K. Dick Megapack
The Erckmann-Chatrian Megapack
The Jacques Futrelle Megapack
The Randall Garrett Megapack
The Second Randall Garrett Megapack
The Anna Katharine Green Megapack
The Zane Grey Megapack
The Edmond Hamilton Megapack
The Dashiell Hammett Megapack
The C.J. Henderson Megapack
The M.R. James Megapack
The Selma Lagerlof Megapack
The Murray Leinster Megapack***
The Second Murray Leinster Megapack***
The Arthur Machen Megapack**
The George Barr McCutcheon Megapack
The Talbot Mundy Megapack
The E. Nesbit Megapack
The Andre Norton Megapack
The H. Beam Piper Megapack
The Mack Reynolds Megapack
The Rafael Sabatini Megapack
The Saki Megapack
The Darrell Schweitzer Megapack
The Robert Sheckley Megapack
The Lon Williams Weird Western Megapack
* Not available in the United States
** Not available in the European Union
***Out of print.
OTHER COLLECTIONS YOU MAY ENJOY
The Great Book of Wonder, by Lord Dunsany (it should have been called “The Lord Dunsany Megapack”)
The Wildside Book of Fantasy
The Wildside Book of Science Fiction
Yondering: The First Borgo Press Book of Science Fiction Stories
To the Stars—And Beyond! The Second Borgo Press Book of Science Fiction Stories
Once Upon a Future: The Third Borgo Press Book of Science Fiction Stories
Whodunit?—The First Borgo Press Book of Crime and Mystery Stories
More Whodunits—The Second Borgo Press Book of Crime and Mystery Stories
X is for Xmas: Christmas Mysteries
THE WAVERIES
Definitions from the school-abridged Webster-Hamlin Dictionary, 1998 edition:
wavery (WA-veir-i) n. a vader—slang
vader (VA-der) n. inorgan of the class Radio
inorgan (in-OR-gan) n. noncorporeal ens, a vader
radio (RA-di-o) n. 1. class of inorgans 2. etheric frequency between light and electricity 3. (obsolete) method of communication used up to 1957
* * * *
The opening guns of invasion were not at all loud, although they were heard by millions of people. George Bailey was one of the millions. I choose George Bailey because he was the only one who came within a googol of light-years of guessing what they were.
George Bailey was drunk, and under the circumstances one can’t blame him for being so. He was listening to radio advertisements of the most nauseous kind. Not because he wanted to listen to them, I hardly need say, but because he’d been told to listen to them by his boss, J. R. McGee of the MID network.
George Bailey wrote advertising for the radio. The only thing he hated worse than advertising was radio. And here on his own time he was listening to fulsome and disgusting commercials on a rival network.
“Bailey,” J. R. McGee had said, “you should be more familiar with what others are doing. Particularly, you should be informed about those of our own accounts who use several networks. I strongly suggest…”
One doesn’t quarrel with an employer’s strong suggestions and keep a two-hundred-dollar-a-week job.
But one can drink whisky sours while listening. George Bailey did.
Also, between commercials, he was playing gin rummy with Maisie Hetterman, a cute little redheaded typist from the studio. It was Maisie’s apartment and Maisie’s radio (George himself, on principle, owned neither a radio nor a TV set) but George had brought the liquor.
“—only the very finest tobaccos,” said the radio, “go dit-dit-dit nation’s favorite cigarette—”
George glanced at the radio. “Marconi,” he said.
He meant Morse, naturally, but the whisky sours had muddled him a bit, so his first guess was more nearly right than anyone else’s. It was Marconi, in a way. In a very peculiar way.
“Marconi?” asked Maisie.
George, who hated to talk against a radio, leaned over and switched it off.
“I meant Morse,” he said. “Morse, as in Boy Scouts or the Signal Corps. I used to be a Boy Scout once.”
“You’ve sure changed,” Maisie said.
George sighed. “Somebody’s going to catch hell, broadcasting code on that wave length.”
“What did it mean?”
“Mean? Oh, you mean what did it mean. Uh—S, the letter S. Dit-dit-dit is S. SOS is dit-dit-dit dah-dah-dah dit-dit-dit.”
“O is dah-dah-dah?”
George grinned. “Say that again, Maisie. I like it. And I think you are dah-dah-dah too.”
“George, maybe it’s really an SOS message. Turn it back on.”
George turned it back on. The tobacco ad was still going. “—gentlemen of the most dit-dit-dit-ing taste prefer the finer taste of dit-dit-dit-arettes. In the new package that keeps them dit-dit-dit and ultra fresh—”
“It’s not SOS. It’s just S’s.”
“Like a tea-kettle, or—say, George, maybe it’s just some advertising gag.”
George shook his head. “Not when it can blank out the name of the product. Just a minute till I—”
He reached over and turned the dial of the radio a bit to the right and then a bit to the left, and an incredulous look came into his face. He turned the dial to the extreme left, as far as it would go. There wasn’t any station there, not even the hum of a carrier wave. But:
“Dit-dit-dit,” said the radio, “dit-dit-dit.”
He turned the dial to the extreme right. “Dit-dit-dit.”
George switched it off and stared at Maisie without seeing her, which was hard to do.
“Something wrong, George?”
“I hope so,” said George Bailey. “I certainly hope so.”